Things I Hate: Niche Cars

There are some things in the world that just don’t need to be here. Things like slugs and olives, I wouldn’t mind if they just went away. The same can be said of a lot of cars from the past four or five years.

The reason I find these cars to be unnecessary is because most of them are just less practical versions of already good cars. If I were in the market for a mid-size German sedan, why would I choose the one that had an ugly rear end?

That’s exactly what BMW failed to think about when designing the BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo. But the Gran Turismo is okay with me because it’s better in some ways than the regular 5 Series. It’s got more space for passengers and in the trunk. The Gran Turismo isn’t the one I’d buy, but I wouldn’t blame someone else for choosing it.

I don’t feel that way about the Mercedes R Class. The R Class is Mercedes’ long and hideous station wagon. It doesn’t say that in the brochures, but it’s true. Mercedes says that the R Class is “beyond expectations, not to mention description.” That’s half true. It’s definitely beyond description, but if you expected a luxurious, practical Mercedes, the R Class wouldn’t go beyond your expectations. It’s too expensive for what it is. I mean, who would say “I’ll avoid the bigger, cheaper, and better looking M Class and instead buy a gross looking, chrome, five seated wagon?” Not me, that’s for sure.

The list of cars that don’t make sense goes on and on. There’s the Toyota Venza. There’s a rumor that Toyota turned down Motor Trend’s SUV of the year award, because they didn’t want people getting the wrong impression about their new car, truck, wagon thing. They put it in the “car” category in both their brochures and on their website. They say, “You’re more than one thing. So is Venza.” Right. Okay. What they mean is that it’s versatile. But, if you wanted a versatile Japanese family car, why on earth wouldn’t you buy a Sienna? More space, more seats, and sliding doors. The starting price for the Sienna is $2000 less as well. The Venza is just stupid.

All of these niche cars are hateable because they're pointless. Why would anyone buy something that is worse in everyway than a car sitting right next to it on the same showroom floor?

They’re just like slugs and olives. I’d rather have ladybugs and grapes. If you really want a good family car, avoid these ridiculous wagon-van combos, buy a Traverse, Grand Cherokee, or Explorer. That's the smart move.